Most likely you've heard that various lawmakers, such as co-sponsor U.S. Rep. Chip Pickering, R-3rd District, have once again voted for a constitutional amendment that creates penalties for desecrating the U.S. flag—an act that, while technically against the U.S. Flag Code, doesn't currently have any penalties attached to it. The last time Congress tried to attach penalties—a fine and up to one year in prison—was in the Flag Protection Act of 1989. The Supreme Court struck down the act in 1990.

If a flag amendment vote were to go forward, would today's politicians criminalize all behavior that goes against the current U.S. Flag Code? Doing so seems only appropriate—if we see fit as a nation to specially override the First Amendment to chalk up a 28th amendment to the Constitution—it seems we should go all the way and criminalize the entire Flag Code. But, if that happened, some folks might be surprised to find what's in it:

Section 175, part b. "The flag should not be draped over the hood, top, sides, or back of a vehicle or of a railroad train or a boat. When the flag is displayed on a motorcar, the staff shall be fixed firmly to the chassis or clamped to the right fender." (We'll have to read this one carefully to find an exemption for magnets.)

Section 175, part c. "No other flag or pennant should be placed above or, if on the same level, to the right of the flag of the United States of America, except during church services conducted by naval chaplains at sea..." (Brings to mind a certain gubernatorial candidate with offices on I-55.)

Section 175, part l. "The flag should form a distinctive feature of the ceremony of unveiling a statue or monument, but it should never be used as the covering for the statue or monument." (Do we arrest those overzealous Marines in Iraq after the fall of Baghdad?)

Section 176, part c. "The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery." (Round up the entire apparel design team at Wal-Mart headquarters.)

Section 176, part i. "The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever. It should not be embroidered on such articles as cushions or handkerchiefs and the like, printed or otherwise impressed on paper napkins or boxes or anything that is designed for temporary use and discard." (Uh, oh.)

The U.S. Flag Code can be found at http://www.usflag.org/us.code36.html on the Internet.